OUT OF ORDER — The Internet's Court of Petty Disputes

Now ruling · live from chambers

Fresh verdicts, broadcast weekly

Real disputes. Real $3 filings. Rulings delivered with the full gravity of a constitutional crisis. Both parties receive the engraved verdict card.

CASE #0047 THE UBER DISPUTE FILED $3 · RULED IN 41 MIN

EXHIBIT A — THE DEFENDANT

NOW READING THE VERDICT

NATASHA v. RYAN — the unpaid fare

⚖ For the plaintiff

Appeal this ruling — $3 →

Open to the public · updated by the minute

The live docket

Every filing is public record. Watch strangers' friendships get formally adjudicated — then file your own. Pay $3 to pin your case to the top.

Free exhibit processing · no filing required

The courtroom studio

Drop in a photo of the accused. Our exhibit department daguerreotypes them, applies the official seal, and issues an instant bench ruling. Share it. Tag them. Justice is contagious.

📸

Drop the accused's photo here
or click to present evidence
jpg / png · never uploaded anywhere, processed in your browser

Name of the accused

⚖ Exhibit #000 — the specimen

⚖

EXHIBIT A — EMMA · CAUGHT WITH THE FRY

Fee schedule · non-negotiable

Filings & proceedings

Cheaper than the Uber he never paid you back for. Every tier includes service of summons on the defendant by link.

Standard

The Filing

$3 / case

Broadcast judge verdict within 24h — always free
Engraved verdict card (digital) to both parties
Public docket listing — permanent record
Defendant formally served; they pay $3 to respond

Jury Trial

$5 / case

Everything in The Filing
The public becomes the jury for a day
Vote-by-link tally, broadcast with the verdict
24-hour priority ruling & pinned docket slot
Loser is mailed a Certificate of Guilt

→ A jury is out right now — watch / vote

Post-verdict

The Machinery

$3+ / move

Defendant response — $3 (they pay to be heard)
Appeal a ruling — $3 (rarely works, always funny)
Counter-sue the plaintiff — $3
Sponsor the accused's response — +$3 (they can't plead poverty)
Pin your case atop the docket — $3
Extra-judicial merch: GUILTY tees & framed rulings

Civil procedure, simplified

How justice gets served

File your grievance

Names, charges, evidence (screenshots encouraged). Two minutes. $3. Pettiness welcome.

Defendant is served

They receive a summons link. Ignoring it counts as contempt of group chat.

The court rules

Your case is dramatized, ruled, and broadcast as a voiced verdict video. Usually within 24 hours.

Justice is shared

Both parties get the engraved verdict card. Loser may appeal ($3) or counter-sue ($3). The machine hums.

Extra-judicial revenue

Justice merch

Apparel

The GUILTY Tee

Court-stamped. Worn by losers of record across 14 friend groups. Ships worldwide, judged everywhere.

$24

Headwear

OBJECTION! Cap

For the chronically disagreed-with. Structured brim, unstructured legal standing.

$19

Framed Verdict

Your ruling, museum-framed. The most passive-aggressive gift legally available without paperwork.

$34

Procedural questions

Objections, answered

Is the verdict legally binding?

Legally? No. Socially? Absolutely. A ruling from this court has ended arguments that therapy could not. Carry your engraved verdict card with pride.

Do I need a photo of the defendant?

No — it helps the broadcast department, but name and charges suffice. The defendant may also submit their own defense photo after being served, which roughly doubles the drama.

How fast do I get my verdict?

Judge verdicts are free and ruled within 24 hours (median: 41 minutes). Jury trials take up to 24 hours while the public votes — your jury is the entire internet, empaneled by summons link. Democracy, but pettier.

Can the loser appeal?

Yes — appeals are $3 and succeed approximately never. Counter-suits are also $3 and actively encouraged. This is, frankly, the business model.

Can I file a case as a gift?

Absolutely. File against a friend, gift them the verdict card, then pre-pay $3 for their inevitable appeal. The court salutes your pettiness.

What if the defendant can't afford to defend themselves?

The court anticipated poverty as a legal strategy. At checkout, choose Pay it forward: +$3 covers the accused's response or appeal. Justice waits for no wallet — and now, neither do they.

Court is in session

Someone owes you $3 of justice.

File in two minutes. Verdict in 24 hours. Friendship settled forever. The defendant will be served. The docket is watching.

⚖ File your case — $3

PARODY COURT · VERDICTS FOR ENTERTAINMENT & SOCIAL LEVERAGE ONLY · NOT LEGAL ADVICE, OBVIOUSLY